It's been brought to my attention that I might not have been as clear as possible about my current living circumstance. Please allow me to elaborate.
I live with my wife's parents and her autistic twin brother. We live downstairs in their basement, in a room just slightly larger than our king-size bed. Yes, king(I love that bed. It's like sleeping on a cloud...). We've been allowed to live rent free, and because of this, we have actually been surviving for the past year. We don't have much, but we're living.
Let me make this as clear as possible. I LOVE HER FAMILY. They are some of the best people I have ever met. Only because of their kindness am I even allowed to be posting this right now. They have never judged me harshly (since the marriage, at least). They have always treated me with as much respect as possible. They keep my life from being mundane and boring. That being said, I'm not good at living with people.
I like having my own space. I like not having people tell me what to do. I like being able to openly voice my opinions to everyone who enters that space. These, sadly, are luxuries that I do not have right now. I don't get to have a bathroom to myself. I don't get to watch tv by myself (the cockatiel always keeps me company and unfortunately doesn't understand it's rude to talk...). When making food, I have to consider what other people like, rather than just doing what I prefer. These are not my ideal situations.
Does that mean I hate living here? Absolutely not. I just would prefer to be on my own (with Kayla, that is). I think that everyone who is in our situation feels the same way. I want my living space to feel like me. I want it to reflect my like and interests. I want to walk around without worrying if I'm well enough clothed. I want to be able to invite people over without it inconveniencing the rest of the family.
I will probably never be able to repay the kindness that I've been shown over the last year. I try as hard as I can to be a good human being, as well as a good tenant(well, maybe just a decent tenant). I try to show how grateful I am, but I'm just not very good at it. I have a tendency to be reclusive, and I like to just be alone a lot of the time. I don't spend time with the family as often as I probably should. I apologize for that, but I don't know how to be any different.
As a last final thought as to how I feel about my living situation, I was only able to live with MY OWN mother and brother for a few months(I moved out even though I couldn't afford it!). I've been here for over a year. Please don't think I'm singling out Kayla's family as being insufferable to live with. I'm not.
I just want our own place.
John
P.S. I also absolutely love my own family. I also don't want to ever live with them again.
2 comments:
Thank you for saying this, John. As for the struggles, I hope you can have the attitude that this is a "growing" experience for you. For if, one day, you and Missy Kay Kay decide to have children, your life will NEVER be your own again. You will have to accommodate the needs, feelings, wants, emotions, etc. of 'others.' And it will be so worth it! Kids give us the biggest pains and heartaches of our lives, but they also give us the greatest joys. Please know that we love you. You make our baby girl smile. That is the best gift a parent can ever receive. Love, Diana
HAHAHA, I had to fix this twice before I (hopefully) got it right!
I was just about to add to my suggestions that posting consistently helps, too. Way to be ahead of me on that. ;)
Yes, I think living with parents is especially difficult, though. Even when they're like Dad and really super cool about it (unlike my mother, who makes it difficult because we can't not act like I'm 16 when I live with her), there's that. . . almost defeated feeling like you couldn't make it on your own even though that's not the case! It sounds like you were both doing fine on your own.
It will be nice when you have a place that is yours. You two get to be the boss, whether you have kids or not. For example, I don't think there's anything wrong with walking around in your underwear around your kids but I would never do that around Dad.
Anyway, it sounds like you're as happy as you can be there and I'm so glad they're treating you well!! I bet you'll both be so glad to get your own place as soon as you're ready. :)
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